Change Starts...
With Fathers
One Thing Every Child Needs - taking responsibility & taking action
If you’re planning on becoming a father one day, planning on getting married, or currently have children, then this article was intended for you.
Now, everything I say in this article is not to discount the role of a mother and her importance to a child’s development, but to encourage men to take their role as a father seriously - to take it with honor, grace, humility, and passion.
As I was talking with a friend one day, we started to talk about the power of praying for our future husbands. Within that conversation, I started talking to her about the statistics of those who grow up without a father, and I continued to discuss the magnificent responsibility God has given to fathers.
The devastating thing is that the percentage of children living with only their mother and growing up without a father is increasing.
As I was watching my colleagues present in class, they confirmed my ideas about the role of a father by showing the statistics of those who grow up in a fatherless home:
63% of youth who commit suicide
90% of homeless and runaway children
85% of children with behavioral problems
71% of high school dropouts.
85% of youth in prison
50% + become teen moms.
(Feinberg & Feinberg, 2010)
These statistics state that out of all the people who commit suicide, etc., 63% of them come from a fatherless home. Out of all the youth in prison 85% are growing up without their father. We can draw upon the correlation that fatherless individuals are more likely to experience the problems specified above and that growing up without one's father creates an increase in the problems that are seen in our society, because the majority of those that are homeless, experience pregnancy in adolescents, dropout, commit suicide, have behavioral problems, runaway, and go to prison come from fatherless homes.
These numbers are excessively high, and I was shocked when I read this. I started realizing that there has been a tremendous responsibility given to fathers by God.
As we can see in scripture, the first human ever to be created was a man (Genesis 2:7), God himself is our Heavenly Father, and a man is appointed to be the head of his household (Ephesians 5:23). My belief is that when a man doesn’t fulfill this duty, there are mental, emotional, and spiritual consequences that take place.
Therefore, the role of a father is a very important one and comes with great responsibility. The distressing part is, not too many men are living up to this title in the way God intended.
So, as you consider marrying a man, think about the kind of dad he will be, because whom you marry not only will affect you, but your children and the future generations. If you want to be a father, start thinking about this responsibility you will have one day, take it seriously, and do what you can now to prepare for it. If you are a father, re-evaluate yourself, and if you’re not there for your children like you should be, it’s never too late to start trying. If you have a son, start teaching him now what it means to be a man, so that he can be better prepared to be that good father one day.
My question to you is, “What are you going to do today to make sure that you don’t allow this number to keep increasing in our country?”
Be that father that will pray for your children.
Be that mother that will pray for your spouse, as he will become the father of your children.
Be that parent that will pray for their future sons and sons-in-law to be great fathers.
If you are thinking about leaving your kids or already have, start thinking about what a blessing it will be for theirs and your life if you were a part of it. A father can teach their child so many things, either good or bad:
A father is where a child learns the meaning of love – he/she learns how to love others, love himself/herself, and love their future spouse based on how you’ve modeled love within the home.
A father is where a child can feel safe and protected
A father is where a child learns that they’re “beautiful” or “handsome”
A father is where a child realizes that they are important to someone else
A father gives a child their first depiction of who they think God is
We learn so many things from our fathers, and if you didn’t have a father growing up don’t carry on the trend, but strive to become that father to them that you may not even know how to be. Being a father is a powerful thing, so don’t take it lightly. Spend time with your children, pray for them, teach them, love them, care for them -be the father that our Heavenly Father is to us.
If you have a daughter teach her how other men should treat her, because most likely she will end up marrying a guy based on what she believes about herself. If you teach her that she is valued, beautiful, and that she deserves the best, then this will show in the guy she chooses to marry one day.
If you have a son teach him how to treat women with respect. Show him how to be a leader. Show him how to take responsibility for his actions and help him take pride in being a man. Show him how to pray for his future family and teach him how to put others before himself.
To all the fathers out there, know that you are loved, you are important, and God has given you a huge responsibility. So, don’t take it flippantly, but be proactive about it. Don’t fear it, but cherish it; as being a father is one of the biggest blessings a person can ever have.
P.S. I thank my dad for being the greatest father, breaking the cycle, and choosing to raise my six siblings and I, even though, he grew up without his biological father.
References:
Feinberg, J.S., and Feinberg, P.D. (2010). Ethics for a brave new world. Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway.
U.S. Census Bureau, Decennial Census, 1960, and Current Population Survey, Annual Social and Economic Supplements, 1968 to 2016.
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