Change Starts...
When We Know God's Love
Anxiety is an unrealistic, excessive worry about futuristic events that haven’t occurred yet.
When we worry about what the future will look like:
"Am I ever going to get married?""Will I be able to provide for myself or my family?" "What will my life look like after this?"
We doubt God's goodness and that He cares about us.
So, one of two things happen – We SETTLE or SHUTDOWN.
SETTLING:
When we choose to settle for less than God’s best, we believe that God doesn’t have anything more in store for us. We believe this is the last stop on our journey, so we might as well hold onto whatever life has given us thus far.
Settling causes us to make choices that are out of God’s will for our life. It is taking whatever is given to us at the moment, in fear that nothing better will come along.
We believe that we have to take matters into our own hands. Not because we don’t believe in God or believe that He can do anything for us. But because we believe that He won't.
SHUTTING DOWN:
Usually those who suffer from anxiety, tend to also suffer with depression.
When a person worries to the point that they believe nothing good can come out of their current circumstance, they shut down (become depressed). They believe that life is pointless, and God could not possibly have anything more in store for them.
A person who shuts down, loses all hope, because they believe there is nothing good to come in the future. So, they stop dreaming, stop working on projects, and stop their life, because “What’s the point?” “The world is ending anyways…right?”
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When one of these two things mentioned above take place, we find ourselves doubting God and/or His character.
This doubt creates a never-ending, rumination cycle of worry that leads to our anxiety, which can eventually turn into depression.
When we choose to doubt we choose to settle and/or shutdown…
And we…
Truly start believing that God has forgotten about us or if He hasn’t yet, then He will (one day). We believe that maybe He’s answered her/his prayers, but He won’t answer mine. We believe that somehow, He loves us less than the person next to us. That maybe they deserve good things, but we don’t. We believe that we are undeserving, and God doesn't want anything to do with us.
So, why would He want to help us?
We catch ourselves even thinking, “Shoot, He probably put me in this situation as a punishment!” (for that thing I did last week, last year…wait, must be that thing I did... yesterday).
Lies, Lies, and more lies, but why do we keep believing this is the truth?
This was me and still is at times. I struggled with double-mindedness (doubt) and had a hard time trusting God, which led to my constant anxiety and days of depression.
Whether it was trusting Him when things didn’t turn out the way I expected:
Failing out of school
Bad relationships
Job loss, after job loss
Isolation and betrayal
Or trusting Him when He gave me direction:
Don’t date him
Don’t entertain that
Move here, don’t move there
Cut off that friendship
Wait for me
I had a hard time believing that God had good intentions for my life.
One day, I remember God speaking to me so clearly, when I was feeling anxious.
I asked Him, “God why do I feel this way?”
He said, “You worry so much because you don’t believe I love you.”
I never believed that God had my best interest in mind. At times I questioned if I even believed in God at all. So, instead of seeing troubling times and uncertainty as an opportunity to cling closer to Christ, I would secretly resent Him, because I thought He was trying to punish me.
This "punishment" perspective I had came from a religious mindset.
Religion makes you believe that you have to earn God’s love and if you mess up, He’s waiting to beat your backside until you act like the good little girl/boy He wants you to be.
Now, don’t get me wrong. There are always consequences for our mistakes and the Lord disciplines those He loves.
But discipline is different than punishment.
Maybe the hurt of a betrayal or loss of a job is God’s way of protecting you for something better. It’s His way of redirecting your path to steer you closer to the right people and the right opportunities (key word here is right).
This discipline (fruit of the spirit) that is learned during hard times is patience and long-suffering, etc. Discipline produces character, while punishment produces shame – see the difference?
When we really believe God loves us, we will view hard times as a way of becoming more Christ-like in our character, instead of as a punishment from God. I don’t know why it’s so hard for us to believe that God loves us. It could be because of how we were raised or the harsh words that were spoken to us as a child. Maybe the marks that were left on us by others made us believe we were unlovable.
I had to learn over the years that God doesn’t love me because I am perfect. He simply loves me because He is love (1 John 4:8). Humans may love us conditionally (based on our behavior, if we act good or bad), but God's love is unconditional (not because of us or anything we have done to earn His love, but because He is good and perfect).
For some of you who grew up without parents or in an unhappy home, this may be hard for you to understand.
You may think that “If my own parents who are supposed to love me, couldn’t – how can a big, almighty, perfect, and Holy God love me?”
On day, when I was in church, I prayed for an older man for healing of his knee, and he shared with me his story. I didn't remember everything he had said, but one thing stood out to me. He just kept thinking to himself as he said to me, “I mean how can God love me? If you’ve only known what I have done…”
At that moment, I became shocked to the point of tears by his words. Not because I was thinking, "OMG, who am I standing in-front of right now!? What crazy things did this man do?" No, I didn't think of what he might have done in his past. All I saw was a beautiful person who was so deeply loved by God, and my shock and sadness came because he had really felt this way about himself. Then, I began to empathize with him, because I had also felt this way, and I told him, "Me too." My guess is that most of us feel this same way. My prayer for all of us would be…
Ephesians 3:16-20,
“That he would grant you according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do exceedingly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us” (NKJV).
When I’m caught by the winds of uncertainty and pulled down by my anxiety, I have to remind myself that God loves me, and because of this truth He will take care of me.
If I lose my job – He will provide (another job, support, finances)
If I am suffering with an illness – He will provide (comfort, hope, joy, support)
If I am betrayed and Isolated – He will provide (friendship, peace, healing, )
So, instead of looking at your current circumstances as God’s way of punishing you.
Believe that your current circumstances are a blessing for the next thing that God has for you.
Trust that He is watching over you and hard times doesn’t mean that God has “let go”, but He is only redirecting your path. Trust Him even when you don’t understand.
Rest in the love that He has for you, because 1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears in not perfected in love" (NASB).
We can’t rely on things and people for love, because they are not perfect - their love waivers. God is the only one who is perfect. So, only He can love us perfectly, and freedom from fear can only come from perfect love. When we believe in the love that God has for us, we gain freedom from our fears, worries, and doubts, and our anxious brain can begin to calm down.
You are worried all the time, you are anxious my child, your fears grow bigger every day, because you doubt my love for you - God.
Here is a beautiful song to meditate on the love that God has for you.
Watch video here.
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